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Posted by Tjej (491 days ago)

I am sharing a computer with my boyfriend and he left his e-mail up and in it he said some pretty nasty things about my family. Should I confront him? Help!

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by hamiltonb (491 days ago)

He said nasty things to who? If you confront him, you will also be admitting that you read his emails! You may ask him how he feel about your family instead, but do it casually. And resolve any misunderstandings or issues from there.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Justin Credible (Part Deux) (491 days ago)

Were the things he said about your family true?

I say this, coz even I have criticisms for my family members and I am sure others do too...but as long as he doesnt criticize them too much in front of you, thats ok, it shows he's pretty respectful about it by only saying it to someone else.

My thoughts anyway.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Pupalicious (491 days ago)

I definately rant about my boyfriends family to everyone except him. What would be the point in upsetting him when I only need to vent my frustrations?

You could try talking to him about it, but as long as he doesn't deliberately disrespect them, I'm sure he didn't mean anything hurtful.

Maybe he left his emails open on purpose?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by marigold (491 days ago)

I am not sure what confronting him would accomplish.

Doesn't have the right to think bad things about your family? Doesn't he have the right to say what he thinks? (Believe it or not, there are many people who think that their significant others are not allowed to have a single negative thought about them or their family members).

Unless you think that his perceptions are based on misunderstandings or the things he said were just malicious without just cause, or completely unfounded, I would just leave him alone. The man is entitled to his opinions.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by idingstay 2 (491 days ago)

Yes, I'd leave it alone too. It will be far worse that he finds out you read his mail than that he has issues with your family.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Aulelei (490 days ago)

I think you should tell him that you came across it, not because you went snooping, but because he left the email open. Even though he is entitled to his opinion, he shouldnt have left it open for you to see knowing that it would hurt your feelings.
I would tell him you read it and ask him if thats how he really feels and why. If he was having a rant to a close friend, and you can understand why he was saying it... maybe you will be able to let it go. If it was just malicious stuff, ask him to explain it. It will be better than cringing the next time he is in the same room with your family, knowing that he is just being a fakearse.

(I am based in Hong Kong)